This page is where you’ll find my latest release poems.
This one is dedicated to my daughters’ love of a certain pop singer’s music. See if you can figure it out before the end.
Back when I turned Fifteen
Silverchair were top of charts
And every time I heard it
Well my guts made rancid farts
See I preferred cold chisel
Midnight Oil, L.R.B
But the Change in modern music
Well it always Haunted me
See by then we had the Backstreet Boys
Nsync and Savage Garden
And with Britney and Christina
I said things you’ll need to pardon
I thought, “well, Everything Has Changed“
And screamed a “Long Live rock!”
Then I had to tell myself to Breathe
T’was Breathless and in shock
See through all this, I tried to find
A Place In This World
And though I acted Fearless
In the fetal position I curled
See music was getting Crazier, “Dear John…”
Yeah I blasphemed!
Acca, Chisel, L.R.B
Stay Stay Stay I screamed!
By this time Ronan Keating
Had caused Teardrops On My Guitar
As a rock head give Tim McGraw
Or any country star!
See this was The Moment I Knew
Things from here would just get worse
The music of today
Like a Treacherous audible curse!
Now the year that I turned 22
Nelly was number one
And the first time was The Last Time
That I let the radio run
The song before was Pearl Jam’s
Last Kiss, oh what a song
After that I got distracted
And well that’s where things went wrong!
See the car that pulled up next to us
Were tuned to the same station
And me mates had their Eyes Open
And their faces screamed elation
I looked across and smiled
But to me mates I Should’ve Said No!
They said t’was Sweeter Than Fiction
“C’mon, chase ’em man let’s go!”
I will say this, those girls were hot
We punched above our weight
Cause only in our Wildest Dreams
Could we have scored a date!
Like some Enchanted fairytale
The next lights, they turned Red
No boy’s night in at my place
T’were New Romantics there instead
Now I know only All Too Well
What you’re about to say
Had it not been for that song
Things would’ve gone a different way
Now let me just explain to you
Those three years that I lost
A labotomy through the backside
Would have come at lesser cost!
See all I ever heard was
“Ooh its Nelly, there’s Our Song
You Belong With Me
Oh baby how could this be wrong”
But she boxed up all me Acca,
Barnsey-Oils-LRB
T’was then I should’ve kicked her out
Could’ve done it painlessly
Then one day home from work
Stereo blaring Michael Bubble
T’was then I should’ve said to her
I Knew You Were Trouble!
I thought then I should Speak Now
‘Fore I lose my sanity
‘Cause Superman couldn’t cope
With this crap constantly!
Just one more example
Of what that time was like
She was talking with some friends
Bout her ex boyfriend Mike
She said “He’s like a White Horse
A gift that causes ill!”
T’was me that got in trouble
For sayin “A trojan horse ya dill!”
If there was a positive
This Love it made Sparks Fly
But her taste in music
Well that often made me cry
She always told The Story Of Us
Tied to some pop song
On The Outside of that convo
I’d just nod and smile along
Our Love Story this
And our love story that
“You Are In Love” her friends would say
“You know he’s really fat!”
Now the insults I can live with
Hell I drove trucks for a crust
But was it Mean of me to stay
Because she had a massive bust?
Either way the music
Had sent me round the bend
Even in me car
She turned off The Living End!
I paid the rent, I owned the car
All of it was Mine
“No it’s not! It Ours!
Ooh top forty, how divine.”
To say that bout pop music
In rock music’s Holy Ground
A Commodore in Sydney’s west
Is where rock music’s found!
Now I had just cleared Wonderland
By Sydney’s dead Starlight
I simply couldn’t Shake It Off
With stern voice I said “RIGHT!”
“I’ve put up with Fiddy cent
JT and Shannon Knoll
Delta, Britney, Backstreet Boys
Christina, Shannon Knoll!
Now if you’d leave my presets
God I Wish You Would
Then you’d hear real music
Not this crap that you call good!”
Once my rant was done
I saw the Blank Space in her eyes
Then she pulled her phone out
And gave me a nice surprise
“Drop me off at Rachel’s
Til you’ve calmed down at least!
This Bad Blood over music?
God! You’re like a wild beast!”
“I spose you’ll go to Dale’s place
He’s as Cold As You!
I swear you like him more than me!”
“Well, I Almost Do!
As she got out she reached across
And punched me in the crutch
With that I cranked some Thunderstruck
Sneered and dumped the clutch
Then one satd’y arvo
And once the boys had healed
The lads and I were watchin’
Parra Brisbane take the field
Then seconds after kick off
The front door was near kicked in
And Jess came stormin over
And she kicked me in the shin!
“OI!” I screamed “Just tell me
What the hell have I done now?
Whatever it is I’m sorry
That you’re offended again somehow!”
“You’re Not Sorry“ she scowled
“And what the hell did you tell Dale?
Brihanna said, and I quote,
Today Was A Fairytale!”
I looked at Dale and said
“Good to see you’ve got me back
I said to keep ya trap shut!”
Then I gave his arm a whack
Then I smiled at Jess and said “That day
I was The Lucky One
Without you there, I could go
And finally have some fun!”
T’was the first of many break ups
God only knows why we kept tryin’
But her taste in music
Was the reason it kept dyin’
The biggest problem was when I thought
I was Safe And Sound
I’d have my music cranked
Then unannounced she’d come around
Well in our final argument
“Stay Beautiful!” I yelled
“You and your Style of music
Consider yourselves expelled!”
She screamed back “We Are Never Ever
Getting Back Together!”
Out Of The Woods I finally marched
Straight into nicer weather!
Now If This Was A Movie
I’d be Innocent after all
But being with a girl that hot
Feels like a Jump Then Fall
Talk about control freak
Worst I’ve seen in quite a while!
A narcicist who did it
Tied Together With A Smile
Yeah the break up, it was messy
I think that girl’s bipolar
She went from “Let’s Begin Again.”
To a bodyline fast bowler!
“All You Had To Do Was Stay
Forever And Always“
To “The Way I Loved You
You shouldve sung my praise!”
At the height of this a tourist ad
Said “Welcome To New York“
A distraction that I welcomed
From thoughts of death by blunted fork!
Despite all this, yeah there were times
That over her I’d yearn
But the “punch” reminds me she is just
A Picture To Burn
Now all this over music
Man my head was in a whirl!
Now kiddies let me tell you
That’s not How You Get The Girl
If she’d only let me listen
To some Angels, INXS
Then maybe we both say “I do”
But oh well, I digress
You know, I probably coulda saved it
When I think ‘bout Geoff and Mary
Mary drove the other car
And I thought looked kinda scary
Now Geoff will Never Grow Up
He’s like a teenage kid in love
And as sickening as it was to watch
Those two fit like a glove
Then one day Geoff came round
With a CD he’d recorded
A song he wrote to propose
And somehow got rewarded
T’was Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)
“Hey Stephen, where’s that Beiber!”
A song so bad I almost
Became a Belieber
Well both of them are married now
And, well, so am i
And my daughters’ taste in music
Often makes me cry!
See I have an understanding
With my current wife
T’was Clean of all pop music
Now I’m headed back for strife!
Now some is self inflicted
T’was a bad day at the shop
Discography of Beiber
Please God make it stop!
A gift I gave my daughters
That’s now driving me insane
Oh what I’d give
To go Back To December once again
But Tell Me Why The Best Day
In music now is gone
I’m sure that what’s around today
Makes our rock legends mourn
Now they can’t live forever,
Oh Keith Richards, hold that thought
Have they tried out Kryogenics
Or is that still last resort?
You know this journey
It has made my taste in music quite eclectic
Country, jazz or blues or rock
Or praise when things get hectic
T’was Sad Beautiful Tragic strange
It really lacked for nothin’
At times t’were in a State Of Grace
And sometimes kickin somethin’
Maybe I’m just getting old
And incapable of change
But Jumpin Jiminy Crickets
Some of this garbage now is strange
Now I Know Places I can go
To avoid this crap
Problem though my favourite
Has certain beverages on tap
You know I’d like to get some pay back
For my years of audible pain
But every thought so far
Would be illegal and in vain
Just don’t buy this garbage
Mate that’s Better Than Revenge
Plus Kanye won’t be squealing
Bout some friends he must avenge
Well I hope you liked my yarn
And I hope there won’t be fines
But to comprehend what you’ve just read
Read between the lines
There’s a singer you must like
And God I hope she’s not too miffed
If you haven’t worked it out by now
Her name is Taylor Swift
Written by Matt Langdon
04/04/2016
Copyright Matt Langdon 2016 for The Bush Verse
#TaylotSwift
Watch the YouTube video here.